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"The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people will think" How can we get rid of this prison? Lets discuss & help ourselves

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Question added by Deleted user
Date Posted: 2014/05/10
Imran Rasheed
by Imran Rasheed , Senior Admin Operations , Al-Futtaim KSA

if i will think what people will think,then what will people think.

Its people's job to think all the time, (positive or negative) not yours.

Stay motivated and perform your role as best as you can.

Divyesh Patel
by Divyesh Patel , Assistant Professional Officer- Treasury , City Of Cape Town

Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

 

Caring about what other people think about what you do in a healthy way can help you to gain valuable feedback and keep you grounded. But caring too much about what people may say or think if you do something can keep you in the same old rut, unable to move forward and to live the life you truly want to live.

 

  1. Own your imagination

  2. Learn to relax with not knowing what other people think of you

  3. Enjoy your individuality

  4. Remember: people will think what they'll think

  5. See the best in others by not assuming they see the worst

  6. Forget the bigger picture sometimes

  7. Care more about what you think about yourself

 

zafar abbas minhas
by zafar abbas minhas , Freelance Writer , DAILY MASHRAQ

thats truth of2014, we live for others, wear for others , eat as people like , our whole life is for others. but thanks my allah ,i am not here to impress any one, i live my life as my own style. this is  being the part of dirty crowd running for money , status and power .i have my own head and some matter in it, i do not follow  crowd .

Ahmed Sharab
by Ahmed Sharab , Group CEO Advisor on Healthcare Business , YAS Holding

I think we should not get rid of ALL of it, we just should get rid of its "prison". People should be sharing the care of eachother and the community overall interest. In this case community help to protect itself from some individual unresponsible stupid behaviors that would hurt the rest of the others. So "What other people think of me" has its bright & good side too. The problem comes when some people magnify & exaggerate the "what others think of me" influence, until it becomes a prison. I believe it is a personality defect, and a self confidence issue. Depending on age, unfortunately, it would be a very difficult (but not impossible) to solve as we get older. Some ideas to face it:

- When we raise our children, we should balance between the people & the individual perspectives. So that our child would be self confident, and in balance between what others think of him, and what he thinks of himself.

- Exercise ignoring peple perspective in some cases and in a specifice way, without hurting others, and without doing something bad. With time an individual will see how much s/he was overestimating the peoples' point of view.

- Follwoing self confidence development techniques & tools, there are many of them. One of them is being with self confident people. One important issue to raise here that we should not overestimate ourselves too. In this way we treat a problem with another (and may be a larger) problem. Self confident should be established on the individual strengths, and on something real.

Abdel Fattah Ibrahim
by Abdel Fattah Ibrahim , CDT Director , Colgate Palmolive

We must break the shackles and free ourselves from the prison of shame and what other people may think? Be a good, compassionate and caring human being, live your life using the unmatched power of reason, common sense principles and ethical standards as your guide

We must never forget that morality, integrity, honour, honesty, ethics, reason and common sense are all combination of learned and built in human qualities and attributes. We should also understand that all of the criminal, violent and evil conducts are all learned behaviour

Fazal Ebrahim Dawood
by Fazal Ebrahim Dawood , Chief Executive Officer , Stardist Ltd

Every one of us has the power to direct the course of our lives by choosing our actions. This life pivots on moral and ethical foundations. You have to live your life based on moral and ethical values, build your legitimacy based on truth, authenticity and integrity.

 

It is truth; authenticity and integrity that sets us free not what other people will think. 

IRPHAN GHANI
by IRPHAN GHANI , Senior Management , A

The worry about what others think or perceive is basically a self worry for not attaining the level that all should think only right about me. To overcome this worry one will have to stop worrying about this and start thinking what the CREATOR thinks about me.

If I think I am right and wish others to think that I am right then I shall pray for others to be right.

Amrut Desai
by Amrut Desai , former Managing Director & Country Manager India & SriLanka , Hohenstein India Pvt Ltd-fully owned by Hohenstein Institute GmbH Germany

"The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people will think" How can we get rid of this prison? Lets discuss & help ourselves.

Dear  Arinjay Dhadhich,  congratulations to you for having such questions on your mind. Question appears to be simple but begs great contemplation and courage to overcome this fear. Here under is my compilation of thoughts as expressed by enlightened and knowledgeable experts.

“Do not be the football of other’s opinion”. So advises  Sri Sri Ravishankar of Art Of Living. One should not be dependent on what others say. Else you will be kicked around like a football and you will never be your own self and always keep trying to please others. When you are not being your own, you will be stressed and unhappy. If we are dependent on the opinions of others about us, we are bound to feel miserable and also we cannot simply attain what we want to attain.

Seeking approval from others is perfectly fine up until the point where you are compromising your health and happiness in the process.  It becomes a serious problem if you feel as though widespread positive approval from others is the very oxygen you need to breathe!

The bottom line is that constant approval-seeking forces you to miss out on the beauty of simply being yourself, with your own unique ideas and desires.  If you are led through life only doing and being what you’ve come to believe is expected of you, then, in a way, you cease to live.  

Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.  How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway.  They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you.

We, as a people, are deathly afraid of what other people think of us. But what you may not realize is that other people are busy thinking the same thing. We have to come out of this prison of fear to extricate ourselves and feel proud of our own selves being unique.

MARC  CHERNOFF   in his blog “7 Ways to Stop Fearing What Everyone Thinks of You” Advises the following steps; I quote  as here under

Get comfortable with not knowing what other people think: say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons.  As long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.” 

Know that most people are NOT thinking about you anyway : We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.

Accept that someone else’s opinion is NOT your problem.

If someone forms an opinion of you based on superficialities, then it’s up to them, not you, to reform those opinions based on a more objective and rational viewpoint.  Leave it to them to worry about – that is, if they even have an opinion at all.

Bottom line:  The opinions other people have about you is their problem, not yours.  The less you worry about what they think of you, the less complicated your life becomes.

Ask yourself, “Does what they think even matter?”

People will think what they want to think.  No matter how carefully you choose your words and mannerisms, there’s always a good chance they’ll be misinterpreted and twisted upside down by someone.  Does this really matter in the grand scheme of things?  No, it doesn’t.

How others see you is not important.  How you see yourself means the world.  When you’re making big decisions, remember, what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what people think of you.  Stay true to YOU.  Never be ashamed of doing what feels right.  Decide what you think is right and stick to it.

See the benefit in being unique.

If you’re thinking like everyone else, you aren’t thinking.  And if you aren’t thinking, you aren’t truly living. It’s human nature to attempt to mimic other humans we look up to – perhaps a parental figure or a celebrity – especially when we are feeling insecure in our own skin.  But attempting to be someone else will always leave us feeling empty inside.  Why?  Because what we appreciate about the people we admire is their individuality – the qualities that make them unique.  To really copy them, we need to develop our own individuality, and in that way, we would actually be less like them and more like our true selves.

The more relaxed you become with your own differences, the more comfortable you will start to feel just being YOU.  Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side… your own special creation.  If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in.  But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.

Be fully present and aware of how you DO want to feel.

It’s OK to know how you do not want to feel, but that’s not all you should be thinking about.  Imagine someone trying to learn to read by spending all their time focusing on how they do not want to not be able to read.  It doesn’t really make any sense, does it?

Enough is enough!  Forget what you do not want to feel for a moment.  Work out how you DO want to feel right now in the present moment.  Train yourself to live right here, right now without regretting how others once made you feel, or fearing the possibility of future judgment.

Speak and live your truth.

Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.  Be cordial and reasonable, of course, but don’t tread carefully on every word you say.  Push your concerns of what others might think aside.  Let the consequences of doing so unravel naturally.  What you’ll find is that most of the time no one will be offended or irritated at all.  And if they do get upset, it’s likely only because you’ve started behaving in a way that makes them feel they have less power over you. Think about it.  Why be fake?

In the end, the truth usually comes out one way or the other, and when that happens, you’re standing alone if you’ve been living a lie.  So live your whole truth starting now.  If someone gives you a hard time and says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not a bad thing.  It just means you stopped living your life their way.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

More than anything, when you stop caring what others think and set out to achieve your goals and dreams, you give others the power to do the same.

Someone is always watching and wishing they had your courage. By stepping up to your own fears, you really do help others face theirs.

Be vulnerable and honest. Being open about your fears and confronting them head on could be the greatest gift you ever give.

 

 

 

Mohammad Tohamy Hussein Hussein
by Mohammad Tohamy Hussein Hussein , Chief Executive Officer & ERP Architect , Egyptian Software Group

Conceptually, if we think about what we do and do what we belive is right, we should not fall into that trap. This behavior includes considering all stakeholders views, Working within our authorities, & seeking approvals from authorized bodies before actions and non of this is classefied as fear (in my opinion).

I also belive that at strategic level decision making, we need to consider responses from different related parties, but again I don't see that being fear. It is wise to consider competitors' responses and moves to ensure a winning strategy.

Generally, I believe that if we target the common good, capitalize on our strengths and eliminate, or idialize our weaknesses we will be out of that prison.

Raafat Sallam
by Raafat Sallam , Organizational Development and Training Consultant , Training Centers, Marketing Organizations.

Human enemy unknown. So, the change management is mainly the challenge point.

Progress or Regress, no in between.

Muhammad Shakeel Chaudhry
by Muhammad Shakeel Chaudhry , Dy General Manager , Classified

This is very tricky question. the world is replete with the two extreme behaviours. the prison-mates as discussed in the question and on other hand a totally rebalious behaviour where every norm, belief and practice is questioned flouted and rediculed in the name of personal independence. I would therefore tend to approach the issue with cautiousness. 

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