What is the best dialogue the manager and the worker can have?

1.Boss- So tell me young man,on what all occasion have you realized that you have importance in company and it cannot function without you?

Employee- " Sir, whenever i asked for a leave.."

2.Boss- You have taken 4 leaves by saying that your grandfather is dead.What excuse you have now?

Employee- Sir,It's my grandmother's marriage.

3.Boss- "We need to talk" Employee- Can't talk, Whatsapp only :D

4.Boss- "Where were you?" Employee- "I went to get a haircut." Boss-" In office hours? " Employee- "They grew during office hours." Boss- "Don't they grow at home?" Employee-" Yes that's why I am not Bald.Only cut which grew during office hours.

5.Boss- "I saw you in office yesterday morning,Then you disappeared?" Employee-" I went home. Boss- "Why?" Employee-" You told me " Have a Good Day". Boss- O.o

The most successful ones are when both parties hold up their part of the deal.

Manager: What are your career aspirations?

Reportee: 1)X, 2)Y and 3)Z

Manager: 1 and 2 I will definitely take care of,  3 is a bit of a stretch but I will definitely push for it. In return, we need to accomplish a,b and c this year and I need all your efforts on this.

Reportee: I will definitely do a,b and c

Manager: Great! Let's have a great year. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you achieve a.b and c. Also help me understand what sort of review system you are comfortable with so we can assess and do course corrections if needed.

Isn't this all that's required at the end of the day?

Let me know what you think.

I like it but the only challenge for me may be a lot of information in one dialogue for an employee to value. so I will maybe separate it into two dialogues.

But I do like the logics